Tipsy Haircut

Liquid Courage... because barber shops can be so intimidating

My wife got a show with her haircut last week.

It was early in the afternoon, but one of the other customers had already started his evening merrymaking. "Jus' a little (hic!) off tha top," he slurred. He was grinning manically.

The haircut began. His cell phone rang. "Can't talk! M' gettin' a haircut!", he shouted. "Me n' aaaaaall myyyyy friends!" He gestured expansively and gave everyone a huge open-mouthed smile. The fumes from his breath made a nearby conditioner burst into flame.

"Sir," said the barber. "They didn't hear you. You have to answer your phone first."

"Oh... (hic!) Thanks!"

Whoa. Seriously. Stop that.

He answered his phone and repeated the routine. The barber began her work again. A calm moment passed, and then the drunk shouted, "Who wants ta sing wif me?"

There was a horrified pause, followed by "I've got friiieeeeeeeeends, in loooooooow (urp), PLAAACESSSSS...."

Mercifully, his phone rang again. He tried to answer, but dropped it in the cup where used combs were soaking. As the phone gently sizzled, he plucked a comb out of the slightly-green solution and put it up to his ear.

"Hullo? Can't talk, m' gettin' a haircut!"

I love you guys (hic!)

This pattern continued for some time. When my wife left the shop, he was trying to set a campfire in the middle of the chairs. He kept slipping on piles of cut hair while grinning madly and shouting about how happy he was to spend quality time with so many friends.

I'm jealous I missed it. :)