Beard Talk

My beard even makes this sweater awesome!

Every now and then, we compliment Web Ninja on his beard for no reason. He might say or do something vaguely positive, and one of the rest of us responds with, "Yeah, that's great... it's the beard. It adds "awesome" to everything you do."

Last week Big Dawg complimented Web Ninja on his beard. Everybody giggled at the easy familiar joke. Then Web Ninja stepped it up a bit. "I was thinking about growing it out," he said, "but people would get caught in it."

This is not Jeff Goldblum. Do not be fooled by cheap imitations.

Big Dawg crinkled himself up in his best "The Fly" imitation. "Heeeeeelp meeeeeee....", he squeaked.

Ah, follicle humor. It never ceases to amuse.

That night, my wife and I went out to dinner. We were chatting and relaxing, when I glanced across the dining area. Easily visible from our seats, Web Ninja sat eating dinner with his mom.

I grinned at my wife and raised my voice. "Web Ninja is sitting right over there!", and I pointed. He didn't notice. "I'm so glad we're over here, and not sitting with WEB NINJA over there!", I continued. I waved my arms and whistled. Still nothing.

Ammunition

I picked up a bit of fried okra. "Don't," my wife warned. "It *would* get his attention," I pointed out. "He's here with his mother!", my wife said. "We've never met her! She might not think it's funny."

It broke my heart, but I ate the okra.

As we left, we stopped by Web Ninja's table. I delivered the greeting. "Hello sir... I couldn't help but notice that you're bearded."

It could have been... magnificent...

Introductions were given all around. I told Web Ninja about the piece of okra I almost threw at him. "Oh, you should have," his mom said. "That would have been hilarious!"

*sigh*