Pillow Talk

I think the statute of limitations is up on this one. Even so, I'll write vaguely so as to obscure my alleged guilt.

I made this pillow from two "Soundblaster Live!" fabric banners that hung at a CES-style trade show some 13 years ago.



Here's how I made it happen:

1) Acquire the necessary materials (*cough* *legitimately!* *cough*)

2) Hide them in the back of your closet for 4 years.

3) Using needle and thread, spend an hour sewing one edge of the two banners together. Jagged lines preferred. Poke yourself with the needle several times.

4) Hide your progress in the back of a closet for a couple of years.

5) Again with only needle and thread, spend another hour sewing a second edge of the two banners together. More jagged lines. Break a needle, gash your hand. Cry a little.

6) Hide your progress in the back of a closet for 6 years.

7) Obtain a sewing machine.

8) Undo all previous stitching, re-sew the whole thing in minutes with the sewing machine.

9) Gash open an old pillow. Spew pillow innards all over the living room. Breathe deeply, inhale the pillow fibers. Gag, cough. Cry a little.

10) Stuff the new pillow, sew up the last opening.

11) Party.



See, with just a few (*cough* *legitimately obtained* *cough*) materials, occasional determination and a complete lack of competence, you too can make your own pillow in just over a decade. An existing pillow must be sacrificed for the cause. Be prepared to bleed.

It's *totally* worth it.