My June Ailment

So, I've hurt myself again. It just keeps getting better and better.

It started with my foot. After years of limping and poor posture, I managed to hurt my back. My chiropractor recommended some stretches and exercises I can do to make sure things stay healthy. He failed to mention that the stretches would also kill me.

I don't like being so familiar with medical diagrams

I stuck my right leg out to do a hamstring stretch. Apparently there's a wrong way to do this, because something went "ow" and my hip said, "Hey... I just realized that I hate you."

I strained a muscle in my hip. There's also a small tear. There's also likely some inflammation of the Bursae.

Walking hurts. Climbing stairs hurts *bad*. When I sit, it hurts. When I lay down, it hurts worse. I think this is really gonna hurt my chances as a contestant on Wipeout.

If you ever get a chance to exist as a fragile nerd, don't bother. It's not as transcendent as you might think.

So, anybody want to guess which body part I'll hurt next while rehabbing this one?

This will end badly

The doc gave me a stretchy exercise band that I'm supposed to use as part of my rehab routine. It's tough and durable, so I fully expect it to break on me. It'll pop up and smack me in the head. I may even lose an eye.

Then, before I'm used to walking around with no depth perception, I'll trip on something and break a foot. Then, the "pathetic injury" parade will have come full circle.

Wish me luck.