Panic!

My in-laws recently went to see Avatar, and managed to panic everyone they love in the process.

Their phone was off, which was a problem for the doctor trying to call. I obviously won't get into details, but he wasn't looking for anything even remotely important. But instead of leaving a message, he tried again. And again. Then he started moving down the "contacts" list. The home phone didn't work, so called my brother-in-law.

"Do you know where your dad is?" What a fun call *that* must have been. Bro-In-Law didn't have time to deal with it, so he called his wife. Sis-In-Law was calm at first, but after more than an hour with no answer, she started to freak out. She called my wife.

She didn't want to panic her, so she tried ease into it. "Soooooooo.... hiiiiiiii..." There was an awkward lengthy pause, followed by an exaggerated and bouncy, "How ya! dooo-in'?" There was another weird pause. "OHMYGOD YOUR PARENTS ARE GONE!!!"

My wife tried to calm down Sis-In-Law, then she took over the phone duties.

The movie finally ended an hour or so later, and the in-laws turned their phone back on. They saw missed calls from Doctor, Doctor, Son, D-in-law, Son, D-in-law, D-in-law, D-in-law, D-in-law, Daughter, D-in-law, Daughter, Daughter and Daughter. Just then, my wife called again and finally got through.

"Hi, what's going on?"
"Is something going on?"
"I don't know what's going on so I'm supposed to ask you what's going on."
"I didn't know anything was going on."
"Some doctor said something was going on."
"A doctor?!? What's going on?!?"
"That's what *I* need to know! Everybody's been trying to call you! What's going on?"
"Why's everyone calling? Nothing's going on, is it?"
"I don't know!"
"Third base!"

It took quite some time to establish that nothing had actually happened. After all, it was a very eventful "nothing".