Quickies

Show Me Your ID

Would you accept a bribe?

My wife went to the store to buy stuff for Tacos. When she got to the register the lady said, "I need to see your ID."

There was a stunned pause. "Uh... why?"

"I don't know," the register lady confessed. "The machine just came up and said I have to see your ID."

"Are these age-restricted taco shells?" The checkout lady stammered, "I... I don't know."

We pulled the blinds when we ate them, just in case.

I'm being REPLACED?!?

Goat

I was talking with Big Dawg about a project at work. I mentioned a code change I was working on.

OoRah interrupted us. "Goat change?", he asked. He had misheard me, and was genuinely confused.

I had no mercy. "Yeah, I'm changing my goat. I'm not happy with the one I've got now."

Splish, splash!

In The Potty

I was in the bathroom the other day, and a guy in the one of the stalls took a phone call.

That just seems so awkward to me. I don't ever wanna be "that guy" who talks on the phone while doing his doo-ty.

"Hi! That splashing noise? Oh, I'm poolside, relaxing. Yeah, and that one was thunder. It's a little overcast here."


Comfortable

I was standing in the middle of the office with OoRah and M16, waiting on the boss to get back. We expected him back any minute, but after about 10 minutes of standing around it became obvious that Murphy's Law was in effect.

I'll open up Solitaire... that should bring him runnin'

"He's waiting. He'll come back when I'm comfortable at my desk."

There was general agreement. I wandered back to my desk saying, "Ha! The joke's on him! He doesn't realize that I'm never comfortable."

OoRah and M16 both chuckled. Later, when I told my wife the story, she didn't.

I admit, the joke was weak. I'm not worried though... You've probably stopped reading by now anyway. :)