It's The Simple Things

We will do righteous battle!

Our old buddy Lightyear came by the office last week, ready to pick a fight. He walked right up to OoRah's desk and announced, "I've been listening to your buddy Rush Limbaugh..."

OoRah chuckled and said, "I didn't know he was a personal friend...", but Lightyear was all wound up and didn't even notice.

"... and Rush says the situation is in Egypt is ALL Obama's fault! Now, how can it ALL be Obama's fault?!?"

Dork.

Also, Dork.

OoRah happily took the bait. "It IS all his fault. The previous 8 years, everything was Bush's fault so now it all has to be Obama's fault."

Lightyear paused, momentarily taken aback. "So, the sinking of the Titanic?..."

OoRah didn't even blink. "Yes. The president at the time, it was all his fault. Ever since 'The Buck Stops Here', that's how it works."

There was a brief moment of "You know, I really can't argue that" on Lightyear's face, and then he switched effortlessly into Presidential Trivia mode. "You know, I liked Truman. I also liked what Roosevelt said; 'Speak softly and carry a big stick'."

OoRah, former Marine, grinned big and nodded like a bobble-head. "I like that one, too!"

Now that they'd found common ground, Lightyear migrated all the way over to story-telling mode. "I liked Roosevelt. He kept things simple. Simple!, you know? It's just like when Rassui kidnapped Preticarus, and they asked [???] what he wanted, you know what he said?"

Suddenly, none of us had a clue what Lightyear was talking about. I honestly didn't even catch that third name he threw out there. Lightyear didn't notice the confusion from his audience, so he continued:

"He said, I want Preticarus alive, or I want Rassui dead. See? Simple."

E Z Bake

Uh. Yeah.

Lightyear said his goodbye's and left the office. I turned to OoRah. "I thought Rassui was an animated movie about a rat who cooks."

I have searched the mighty internets and I can't find anything about a "Rassui" or a "Preticarus". Does anybody out there know what Lightyear was talking about?