Too Much Excitement

Target Acquired...

We had an eventful three days last week.

Most of houses around us have brick mailboxes. Cars smack into those things all the time. We woke up one morning last week to find bricks all over a neighbor's yard to the east. The homeowner is a crotchety old guy who spent most of that day slowly walking around in his yard and muttering. He kept swatting the bricks with the end of his cane and cursing.

Near midnight that night, we heard a car alarm a few houses south of us. It must have had a short or electrical malfunction, because nobody was messing with it.

The police eventually came out... two cars with four officers. I guess they weren't taking any chances, despite the lack of *actual* car thieves.

I wasn't speeding. I was flying at low altitude.

The best part was the speeder. Some moron came roaring down the (residential!) street going at least 45. He saw the cop cars and his rear tires nearly came off the ground as he stopped. Instantly he was surrounded by 4 jumpy cops who already had their hands on their pistols. My wife and I nearly cried from laughing so hard.

What can I say? We hate residential speeders. Plus, everything is funnier at midnight.

Redecorating!

The next evening I heard a crash outside. Our neighbor across the street had just run his car into his own mailbox. Bricks everywhere.

He told me that he stomped on the clutch instead of the brake. He's a large fellow, so aside from "Are you OK?", we didn't question him further.

The next night, nothing happened. We kept waking up anyway, looking out the windows at every little noise. By morning, *we* looked like the ones who had an accident. "Are you two OK?" "Fine... we just didn't sleep last night." "What happened?" "Nothing."

Guys kept nudging me with their elbows and winking. I never figured out why.