Restaurant Review

A new restaurant opened up a couple of miles from our house. My wife and I decided to give it a try.

Our staff stands (waddles) ready to serve you

It's an Italian place, staffed mostly by tall thin Italian guys. There was one waiter who looked a bit like Peter Griffin... the lighter color hair and pot belly *really* stood out among all the Jersey Shore clones. He looked like he had sampled the pizza. A lot.

I have our daily specials written on my abs...

Speaking of Jersey Shore look-a-likes, our waiter looked a lot like Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, but without the physical ability to smile. Seriously, his face was so immobile that I don't think his lips moved when he talked. Also, his hair was shorter and he was wearing a shirt.

At first our waiter was really responsive. The salads came out 12 seconds after we ordered, which was nice. Granted, the salad consisted of three lettuce leaves drowning in a bowl of dressing, but it was *fast*.

Then, our guy just disappeared. After about 20 minutes (no, I'm not kidding) I managed to flag down a different waiter. "Do you know where our waiter is?"

"Oh," he mumbled, "he's probably in the tanning booth behind the kitchen."

"You guys have tanning booths?"

His eyes widened in panic. He shouted, "I've said too much!", and skittered away.

I'm here to keep the Department of Health out

When we left, there were two guys at the front. One worked the register, the other held a baseball bat and kept looking at my knees. When my card cleared, he looked disappointed.

I think we found the Italian Mob's restaurant, and I think they considered "whacking" us. The food was good though, so we'll probably go back.