Happy Saturday?

I woke up last Friday and rolled over in bed. My wife said, "Aren't you getting up?"

"No," I mumbled. "It's Saturday."

There was a garbled semi-conscious "Yes it is," / "No it isn't," argument. After a few rounds of that, I finally woke up enough to take the next step. "Let me check my phone."

I pushed a button and the display lit up. It said, "Friday March 23rd."

"Well nuts," I said. "The phone's wrong, too." "You forgot to set your alarm!" "But it's Saturday." "No, it isn't!"

I was eventually evicted from the bed and forced to go to work. All day long I swear it felt like it should be Saturday. I told my co-workers, "I'm pretty sure this is all an elaborate prank on your part."

When she left for the day, SpanFan stopped by my desk. "Tomorrow actually *is* Saturday," she assured me. "I dunno... I've been lied to about that before."

Saturday morning my alarm went off. I must have thought it was Friday.

Here's hoping that this weekend is less confusing.

Happy... uh... whatever day this is!

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My Clippers

So, the price of having a barber run some clippers through my hair is to up to 12-15 dollars. And I learned that this...



... was only twenty. So I got a new toy!



This thing is pretty nice. The blade guards are even color-coded so they can double as Monopoly playing pieces. Thimble, you have been replaced!



But the best part was this nifty little Easter Egg I found in the instructions. When trimming the hair around my ears, the instructions explicitly state:



"Avoid Poking Eyes"

Well, there goes *my* evening. I was planning on a grievous self-inflicted eye injury, but I guess I'll have to settle for a board game.

Honey! Get the Monopoly game out! Forget the race-car, this time I'm the Purple #3!

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At The Zoo

Went to the zoo over the weekend. The zoo is a great place to see amazing things, like this little fellow...


Santa Claus' monkey. Ho Ho Ook!

He wasn't the strangest primate we saw, though.


Still looks like he's having trouble with those thumbs, doesn't he?

We saw the excellent new sea lion exhibit, too. And in the grandest tradition of Jeff's zoo pictures...


Damp shiney sea lion butt. Naturally. (More zoo butts here!)

Now for something half-way sentimental. Last year, I got a hat from my grandfather. It's just a standard black ball cap, with an eagle on it. He didn't even know where he got it, but it still had the tag on it.

Grandpa died late last year, and I had forgotten about the hat. I wore it for the first time last weekend to keep the sun out of my eyes. It was kinda cool... every time I'd reach up and touch it, I'd think of him and smile.

When I got home, I was red in a few places. One of the spots where I got sunburned was my forehead.

I was wearing a ball cap. Not backwards. And I got sun. On my forehead.

*sigh*

Thanks, Grandpa.

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As You Poop

This will be my only post this week. I'll probably blame the lack of posts on Spring Break. It's not true, but that's OK. In any case, here's a conversation I had recently with iCanSpell... Poop jokes and Princess Bride quotes! You're welcome.

=========================================

iCanSpell: So I have seen some really weird baby products

iCanSpell: but

iCanSpell: http://www.fridababy.com/shop/windi-for-gas-relief/

Jeff: ...

Jeff: I ... I have no response to that.

iCanSpell: Woohoo!

iCanSpell: I wonder if they make adult sizes

iCanSpell: Also, I can't imagine any actual parents thinking this is a good idea

Jeff: There's no question to which the answer is, "tube up my baby's hinder!", that does not in some way contain the phrase, "qualified trained medical professionals".

iCanSpell: Now I'm imagining coining the phrase "You're as useful as a tube up my baby's hinder"

iCanSpell: Also, it seems like gas is not the only thing that comes from that particular region

iCanSpell: it seems like this might just be a poop gun in disguise

Jeff: Like a Potato Canon except with more EWWWWW.

iCanSpell: I imagine that little end serves to concentrate and accelerate any emissions

iCanSpell: They did mention the whistling noise that one might hear

iCanSpell: I think it might be like the Fire Swamp in the Princess Bride

iCanSpell: If you hear the whistle, duck and cover

Jeff: "And there's the POUS's."
"Poops of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist."
[whistle.... splat]

iCanSpell: I almost choked

Jeff: :)

Jeff: Excellent.

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Peanut Hound

I've written about the freight elevator before, right? Good.

My desk has been across from that thing for nearly 4 years now. The occasional moderate crashes and bangs are easily ignored. The infrequent shouting is harder to overlook, but it's generally pretty amusing so that's OK.

Of course, it's not always easy to make out the words when folks are shouting in the freight elevator. The metallic echos distort things quite a bit. Last week I heard somebody shouting in there, and it sounded just like...

"C'mon, Peanut Hound! WOOOOOOOO!!!!"

I'm not sure what a "Peanut Hound" is. Naturally, I turned to the expert in all things obscure: P-Ziddy.

==================

P-Ziddy: Cockroach races in the basement. Someone just lost 10 bucks.

Jeff: I nearly bounced my head off the keyboard I was laughing so hard there.

P-Ziddy: Jeff concussed? Check.

P-Ziddy: My work here is done.

Jeff: You may go home now. Job well done!

P-Ziddy: Mind if I give you my bosses number so you can inform her?

==================

Worth noting: Apparently I cannot send people home for the day. Sorry, 'Zid!

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Black Pearl

I was wandering through the store, minding my own business, when WHAMMO this came off the shelf and slapped me.


OK, so it may not have had Johnny Depp's picture on it at first. But it does in my heart, dang you.

Every time I make a cup, I get the Pirates of the Caribbean music stuck in my head. And it's wonderful.

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It's Been A Long Time Since I Pranked OoRah's Desk

I got a package of "Winter Spiced Nuts" this past Christmas.



Ignore the gasping coughing choking noises in the background. It's just P-Ziddy going into "Spicy Nuts" joke overload. He'll recover and re-join us shortly.

Anyway, WAY back in January of 2010 I pranked OoRah's desk. He has a collection of toys that used to look like this...



But I put his giraffe in a Cotton Candy cage. There was some retaliation, and we eventually wound up with OoRah's desk in this condition...



King Julian in a cage. Poor guy. He's been alone in that thing for about a year and a half. I decided he needed some company.



R2-D2 Spud was spared, because he was just a little too big for the spicy nut jar.

So, let's see how long it takes OoRah to notice. :)

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