Ways Not To Look Cool

As you all know, I am an expert in how not to look cool. I've perfected such maneuvers as the casual nose-pick, tripping over nothing, and of course the "Gee I *hope* that's a coffee stain on his trousers."

It's rare that I see a fellow dork truly elevate the art form. When I do, it's pretty special.

Last week I saw a guy cruisin' on a Harley. It was one of those crazy ones with handlebars so high that you arrive at your destination with bugs in your armpit hair.

The poor guy had an itchy ankle. So he tried to scratch it with one hand while steering with the other. The result was a comedy of rapid "bike tip" "over-correct" "bike tip" "over-correct" wobbling that had him taking up multiple lanes of traffic with his two-wheeled vehicle.

It was a Wobbly Harley. I can just imagine him as the subject of a children's book... "The Little Wobbly Harley." It would fit on the shelf between "The Little Engine That Could" and "Dianetics".

It was a hilarious sight, but because he was a leather-clad tattoo'd bearded monster of man, I dared not laugh.

Instead, I'll just blog about him. And hope he doesn't find out.