Packard Bell Tech Support

  • Subscribe to our RSS feed.
  • Twitter
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Facebook
  • Digg

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Bruised

Posted on 06:30 by Unknown
Here's another one to add to the never-ending list of "Things that are wrong with Jeff".

My hip pain is not just a symptom of Bursitis. No, that would be too simple. I have "I.T. Band" troubles as well.

Given that I work in Information Technology, I was pretty sure I was being mocked ("Your I.T. Band is defective... you need a new vocalist"). But no, it's actually a thing. It's a long band of "fibrous tendons and stuff" that goes from the hip down to just below the knee.

The best part is how they fix it. It's a procedure called ASTYM. I'm pretty that's an acronym, and that at least 3 of those letters stand for "ow".

The link, "What's the treatment like?", is actually quite fascinating. However, they do leave out three important words... "Hurts like ####".

They take a device that looks like a miniature pizza cutter.



Dramatization. Not a real medical device. Do not attempt at home. Pizza sauce will stain.

Then, they scrape that thing HARD up and down the IT Band, to smooth out the lumpy bits. Once the IT Band is all smooth and good, it can stretch normally and the pain goes away. In the meantime...



Yeah... that's a downward motion. It's a bit uncomfortable. "It's normal for the skin to bruise," the lady told me. It's also normal for the patient to cry. At least, I hope.

She did this to me on a Monday. That Wednesday, I came back for a second round of treatment. I was really hoping she'd go easy on me. "Look," I showed her. "The bruises haven't quite faded from Monday."

"That's OK," she cheerfully replied. "I'll just run right over the top of them again!"

That was NOT the answer I was hoping to hear. *sigh*

I may never walk again.

Email ThisBlogThis!Share to XShare to FacebookShare to Pinterest
Posted in Pathetic Injuries | No comments
Newer Post Older Post Home

0 comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Popular Posts

  • They're REAL
    From the email archive...
  • Jelly
    Big Dawg was late coming into work one morning. His "Gonna be late" email simply said, "Laundry Catastrophe". Turns out ...
  • You Never Call
    Respect mah authority! I was deep in the bowels of the office when I ran into two of my favorite people... "Large" and "In Ch...
  • Cold
    A short one for your Friday. I bought a soda for Big Dawg. He was in one of those wobbly gleeful caffeine-deprived deliriums, so I thought I...
  • My Subconscious Is Hilarious
    I was at work, and I messed something up. I honestly don't remember what it was. I just remember the grim knowledge that re-doing the mu...
  • The Paint Party
    My wife and I decided to do something about our bathroom this past weekend. The walls were yellow. I didn't like the idea that my walls ...
  • HD
    Welcome to the Flower Channel... all flowers, all the time. My wife and I recently discovered HD. You see, we only have basic cable. We only...
  • Dream Analysis: The Oil Change
    Dream Machine So, I thought I'd share a dream with you. I dreampt that my dad donated a car for some important event. It was one of thos...
  • Munchkin
    This is not exactly a normal blog post. :) If you are familiar with the game "Munchkin" , then there's a good chance you will ...
  • Yo
    I got screwy idea one day. I started kicking around the idea that most phrases can be made humorous (or even hilarious) by adding "yo...

Categories

  • Caged
  • Danger Pants
  • Freight Elevator
  • Lightyear
  • Optimus Prime
  • Pathetic Injuries
  • Photoshop Jeff
  • Pseudo Celebrity
  • Starfury Model
  • The Genius

Blog Archive

  • ►  2013 (27)
    • ►  May (2)
    • ►  April (7)
    • ►  March (4)
    • ►  February (5)
    • ►  January (9)
  • ▼  2012 (143)
    • ►  December (12)
    • ►  November (11)
    • ►  October (11)
    • ►  September (7)
    • ►  August (13)
    • ►  July (13)
    • ▼  June (14)
      • Ways Not To Look Cool
      • Business Plan
      • Red Light
      • Cold
      • Bruised
      • Hired
      • Father's Day Card
      • Step 7.2-ish
      • My Favorite Birthday Card This Year
      • Birthday Dinner
      • *body
      • Showers
      • Ladders
      • Step Seven... We're Gonna Be Here A While
    • ►  May (15)
    • ►  April (11)
    • ►  March (11)
    • ►  February (12)
    • ►  January (13)
  • ►  2011 (150)
    • ►  December (11)
    • ►  November (9)
    • ►  October (13)
    • ►  September (13)
    • ►  August (13)
    • ►  July (13)
    • ►  June (14)
    • ►  May (13)
    • ►  April (13)
    • ►  March (13)
    • ►  February (12)
    • ►  January (13)
  • ►  2010 (166)
    • ►  December (14)
    • ►  November (13)
    • ►  October (17)
    • ►  September (11)
    • ►  August (13)
    • ►  July (13)
    • ►  June (13)
    • ►  May (14)
    • ►  April (13)
    • ►  March (14)
    • ►  February (10)
    • ►  January (21)
  • ►  2009 (14)
    • ►  December (14)
Powered by Blogger.

About Me

Unknown
View my complete profile