The TV

Do you know what a tv smells like when it explodes? I do!

Our old CRT (tube) TV popped a gasket or something. There was a high-pitched "Bang!" and the screen went black. This was instantly followed by a loud, fast and steady "Thrum-Thrum-Thrum-Thrum" noise and a thin tendril of smoke.

I was in the recliner with my laptop. Between the power cable (low battery) and the mouse cord I had effectively tied myself to the chair. Being tied down and watching the start of an electrical fire in my living room easily earns a spot in the top 5 of "memories Jeff wishes he could forget".

The smell was kind of a toxic smoky bleach thing that instantly made me light-headed every time I caught a whiff. It took a full day to air out the living room.

Since the old TV died, we didn't want to order a new one online and wait for shipping. Since we wanted to buy local, our choices were pretty much limited to Walmart and Best Buy. And since Best Buy has a policy of taking your old TV and recycling it for you, we loaded up the stink-master (*and* his dead TV! [rim shot]) in the back of my Vibe.

We wound up at Walmart first. And we bought a new TV from there. Honestly, if you couldn't see that little twist coming, then you'll be stunned by what comes next.

It was pouring rain.

We had to load up the new TV in a small hatchback while juggling around a still-smoking tube TV that weighs nearly as much as I do. In the rain. At one point we had three doors *and* the hatchback open while a stockboy and two random onlookers watched me stagger under the weight of the old TV and trip over its dangling power cord.

When we finally got inside the car, the rear-view was blocked and the inside windows were completely fogged over. So were my glasses. "How are we going to get out of here?", my wife asked. "Quickly," I replied, and floored it. I think there was some honking and shouting directed at us, but I couldn't hear them over my own honking and shouting.

Anyone want an old damp smoking stinky TV?