They brought in some "Traveling Nurses Association Of Mobile Nurses Traveling" group to handle the particulars. It was just a bunch of ladies with smocks and bags of cotton balls. Seriously, that stuff was flying around like confetti. It was a little wild, but at least the atmosphere was festive. They even had clowns.
The last step involved sitting down with a nurse to talk over my results. She was wearing a vest with vertical red and white stripes. "Step right up!", she happily squealed.She went over my numbers. "This is good, this is good," over and over. Apparently I have very good numbers. Then it got weird.
"If you were a lady," she said, "I'd compare you to Mary Poppins! Perfect in every way!"
There was a brief awkward pause while I searched for a silver lining. My falsetto just improved... Spoons as blunt force objects... that trick with the umbrella would really cut down on the morning commute...The nurse continued. "I guess since you're a guy I'll just compare you to Bert the Chimney-Sweep."
I blinked and grinned. "Did you just compare me to Dick Van Dyke?" "Yes." "I'll allow it."
I got up to leave. The nurse looked me hopefully. "Can I guess your weight?"
"Sure, go for it." She looked me over. "16 pounds?"
She's good.
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