Free Coffee

I love the coffee vending machine at my office. The coffee it spews is an acceptable brew, and the smaller cups are free. Free makes me happy. Generally, if I'm having an "I need coffee" afternoon, I'm not going to have much luck finding quarters without getting my hand stuck in something.

To no one's surprise, I was having an "I need coffee" afternoon. I stepped out into the hallway outside our office and went directly to auto-pilot.

The next thing I knew, I was in the bathroom, looking for the coffee vending machine. "Wait a minute," I thought as the synapses started to slowly fire. "This is where it ends up, but where's the machine?"

Sidebar: Fun fact... this is not the first time I've more or less woken up in a bathroom. Once in high school I woke up sitting on the toilet. No memory whatsoever of the alarm clock ringing, the walk to the bathroom, or anything else. It was an odd morning.

Anyway, I eventually found the coffee vending machine and made my way back to the office. Naturally, I shared the story with P-Ziddy and Big Dawg. P-Ziddy in particular laughed so hard that he nearly needed to go looking for coffee himself.

Later in the day, Big Dawg was chatting with P-Ziddy. "Excuse me," he said as he stepped toward the hallway. "I need to go get free coffee."

And again, P-Ziddy's abdominal wall was tested.

"Free coffee" has become a code phrase for "Pardon me, but I need to go visit a small tiled room where there is no coffee machine."

I love my office.