Early

I got a million of 'em!

An unexpected situation came up at work that required me to come in a little early. It's not as bad as it sounds, since I'm usually last-in and last-out. Still, it was an unexpected break from routine.

On my way into the office it occured to me that I might actually arrive before SpanFan (our earliest riser). I had it all figured out... she'd walk in and find me. She'd ask, "What are you doing here this early?" And my punchline reply would be, "I never left!"

Unfortunately, my plan was foiled. SpanFan beat me into the office.

"What are you doing here so early?", she asked.

"Failing at a good punchline," I replied.

I told SpanFan about my comedy's busted timing. She sympathy-laughed, which I thought was very kind. Then, Big Dawg (another early riser) wandered into the office.

Can I have a do-over?

He saw me and looked surprised. I waved and grinned sheepishly. There was an awkward pause.

SpanFan prodded me and said, "Use your punchline."

"I never left!", I shouted.

It wasn't exactly my finest moment, but it'll do.