Happy last day of long weekend to you!
That is all.
That is all.
Monday, 31 May 2010
Friday, 28 May 2010
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
Ah, the internet age.
My wife and I were across the street, talking to a neighbor ("Wax-Man"). He's a nice fellow, but all the times we've ever talked to him we've learned nothing about him except that he likes to wax his cars.
Then he mentioned having a Facebook account.
"Really?", we perked up. "What's your last name? We'll 'friend' you!"
Wax-Man's Facebook wall was a bit of a revelation. We found out his job, his college, his extended family, the mileage on his cars, his shoe size, his pizza phobia, his love of kabuki theater, he used to be a horse, and he's had a runny nose since 1989. He owns stock in Kleenex. He owns a pair of Jimmy Carter's underwear. He holds a patent on the word Zberfimax, and is patiently waiting for a pharmaceutical company to come along and make him rich.
He's comfortable telling the internet these things, but not his neighbors. At least, not verbally. Verbal communication is dead.
In fact, in less than a week of being Facebook friends, we've had more conversations with him than we have in the past two years.
By the way, if any of you are interested in using "Zberfimax Pro" as a product name, let me know. I hold a patent on it now.
My wife and I were across the street, talking to a neighbor ("Wax-Man"). He's a nice fellow, but all the times we've ever talked to him we've learned nothing about him except that he likes to wax his cars.
Then he mentioned having a Facebook account.
"Really?", we perked up. "What's your last name? We'll 'friend' you!"
Wax-Man's Facebook wall was a bit of a revelation. We found out his job, his college, his extended family, the mileage on his cars, his shoe size, his pizza phobia, his love of kabuki theater, he used to be a horse, and he's had a runny nose since 1989. He owns stock in Kleenex. He owns a pair of Jimmy Carter's underwear. He holds a patent on the word Zberfimax, and is patiently waiting for a pharmaceutical company to come along and make him rich.He's comfortable telling the internet these things, but not his neighbors. At least, not verbally. Verbal communication is dead.
In fact, in less than a week of being Facebook friends, we've had more conversations with him than we have in the past two years.
By the way, if any of you are interested in using "Zberfimax Pro" as a product name, let me know. I hold a patent on it now.
Monday, 24 May 2010
So, we got new fire alarms n' such in our office back in January.Last week, they tested those alarms.
It was memorable. Some of the units didn't work, so they had to re-test. Some of the units that worked at first broke along the way, so there were more re-tests. It wound up lasting two days.
Every time the buzzers sounded, the one right by my head worked like a champ. I have absolute confidence that in the event of a real fire, I will instantly be reduced to a nauseated dizzy jibbering drooling cursing puddle of nerd. Then I will burn.
Amazingly, it was worse in the stairwell. Obviously that's a confined area, but I really think the buzzer was louder. It was nearly enough to liquefy my bowels. I have to imagine that in a real emergency, the bodies would pile up pretty quickly from all the folks who slip or get knocked over by violent sound waves.By the end of the first day, I would jump and cry every time my phone rang.
The second day, SWoAN went up to the forklift / heavy machinery floor and got us all some industrial-strength earplugs. Those things were awesome. I worked in a cone of silence for hours at a time. Of course, every time I took them out the alarms would sound. Just my luck.
The nice part was that while the earplugs were in, I couldn't hear my phone. I'm going to leave them in.
Friday, 21 May 2010
Really Silly Friday Joke About Windex
Wednesday, 19 May 2010
Dog Pack Attacks Gator In Florida
At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.
The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the "apex predator", can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and "survival of the pack mentality" bred into the canines.
See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine.
Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.
Not for the squeamish
Modern Life Explained In Graphs, Part 2
At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.
The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the "apex predator", can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and "survival of the pack mentality" bred into the canines.
See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine.
Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.
Not for the squeamish
Modern Life Explained In Graphs, Part 2
Monday, 17 May 2010
So, nothing happened last week. Nothing blog-worthy, funny-ha-ha sort of thing, anyway. Maybe I was just a fuddy-duddy all week, who knows. In any case, here's some stuff from my email archive. :)
The Happiest Elephant
There is no reason for this other than to make you grin on a Monday.
Modern Life Explained In Graphs, Part 1
The size of these graphs will help me create the illusion of content this week. :)
The Happiest Elephant
There is no reason for this other than to make you grin on a Monday.
Modern Life Explained In Graphs, Part 1
The size of these graphs will help me create the illusion of content this week. :)
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