It's Hard To Think Up A High-Brow Title For A Low-Brow Topic

Two Christmas's ago, I got a toilet mug as one of my gifts.



I've actually used that mug, too. Unfortunately, it's really easy to bonk myself in the eye with the toilet tank. I did enjoy all the times that folks would suggest that I drink lemonade from it, though. I'd always grin and suggest "lemonade... with Tootsie Roll floaters."

The "Tootsie Roll Floaters" was always a great way to one-up the wise guy. It would also be a great name for a rock n' roll band... but I digress.

P-Ziddy combined my toilet mug with his over-sized Optimus Prime, and the result was glorious.



I can't even begin to tell you how happy this makes me. Optimus Prime on the Thunder-Bucket!



We're office nerds. It's just doesn't get any better than this.

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Optimus Prime Hand-Holding

I re-arranged my potato-head diorama at work to make room for my new "Elvis" figure.



There he is, groovin' in the front, while off to the side... uh...



I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this. I think I liked it better when they were fighting.

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A Pretty Hat

P-Ziddy's four year-old walked up to him one morning when he was about to head out for the morning. She was carrying his ball cap.

"Here Daddy," she said. "Put on your hat."

We have a business casual workplace, unfortunately. "I can't Honey," he explained. "They won't let me wear the hat at work."

"Why not Daddy?"

"I don't know. I guess it's just not very pretty."

The four year-old was dejected. "Oh." She thought about it minute, and the slapped the hat down on P-Ziddy's head.

"There!", she shouted. "Tell them I said it's pretty!"

I'm not sure it's wise to argue with that kind of statement.

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A Better Oil Change

True story: There's an auto service place here in town where we've taken my car once. Only once, because not only did they take longer than they said and charge more than they said, but they also scratched the hood of my car. We opted not to go back.

Not too long ago, we got a flier in the mail from them. There was a coupon for 9 dollars off an oil change. "Really? What's their normal price?", I asked. My wife didn't know, so she called them.

"$40!", the guy on the phone happily replied.

At 9 dollars off, that price is *still* higher than any place else we've ever used. "You've got to be kidding!", my wife said.

"Oh, not at all," the guy insisted. "We know we can charge more because we give you a better oil change."

"Better?" "Absolutely!"

My wife was not convinced. "And will you scratch the hood of the car again?"

This made him pause a moment, but he rallied magnificently. "Absolutely! I mean no! Our oil changes are *better*!"

"That plus a buck 50 will buy a cup a coffee."

The guy faltered a bit. "But... our oil changes..."

"Are better. Yes, I've heard. Have a nice day."

I can get my hood scratched anywhere. No need to be overcharged for it.

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The Lime Ninja

LadyPatsFan and Big Dawg both share a love for Diet Lime Coca-Cola. Big Dawg was headed to his desk with a case of the green goodness when a generous / malicious idea popped into his head.

Big Dawg took one of his cans and snuck over to LadyPatsFan's desk. Big Dawg is a large fellow and does not sneak easily, but when the cause is just he can manage. He reached slowly over the partition wall and gently placed the can of soda just out of LadyPatsFan's line of sight.

The can went, "plink".

Big Dawg ran away. As I mentioned, Big Dawg is a large fellow. The "running away" part involved quite a bit of stomping, scuffing, and tripping. There was nothing subtle about the escape or the route. Godzilla would have been proud.

A few minutes later, LadyPatsFan came by with her open can of soda. She would have arrived sooner, but first she had to open her surprise-o-can and take a big swig because priorities.

"Was that you?..."

Big Dawg happily confessed. "That was me doing my super-sneaky ninja moves!"

"Ah," I said. "The Lime Ninja?"

"Yes!"

The Lime Ninja Delivery Service. Noisy, but full of lime!

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Christmas At The Office

Do you remember the stack of OSU cups that my niece and oldest nephew collected after the last football game we all went to?



Well, I took part of the stack that my wife and I brought home and turned them into a gift for all the other programmers at the office.



I was pretty excited about this. Partly because more than half of the programmers I work with are OSU fans and/or graduates. And partly because one in particular is a fan of that *other* university in Oklahoma. :)

I left the cups on everybody's desk one evening when I was the last to leave the office. When I came in, P-Ziddy and M16 were *still* giggling. "The fact that you gave K2 an OSU cup is the best Christmas present so far this year. Thanks!" It warmed my heart.

LadyPatsFan grinned viciously. "How much were those cups? I know they weren't expensive since they came from you."

Hurtful. Of course, I can't deny it... in fact I actually kinda used child labor to obtain the cups in the first place.

K2 couldn't resist a dig at me. "I couldn't help but notice that the 'Big 12 Champ' bit is dated LAST year."

I nodded. "Next year you can give me a souvenir Big 12 Championship cup. Granted, it'll be half red and half purple, but that's OK."

(The Oklahoma Sooners are co-champs, tied with the Kansas State Wildcats.)

K2 hung his head in shame. Mission accomplished!

Later that week our office had our annual Dirty Santa gift exchange. One guy opened up a pair of "Kobalt Blue Magnum Pliers."

A random joker in the office perked up. "Heeeeeeeey," he said, his voice full of suggestive overtones. "Is that the Kobalt Blue... [significant eyebrow waggle] ...Mmmmmag-num?"

There were many giggles. I replied, "Yeah, it's the one that's illegal in Utah."

"Excellent!"

And a good time was had by all. I'd hit you with a "See you next year!", but it *is* next year. I'm gonna have to work on my timing.

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Happy New Year, 2013!

Silly Ancient Mayans! What do they know? Ha!



See you next year!

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