Sad Song / Hello Kitty Donut

How do I GEEEEEEET you alone?

Sad Song

I know a lady who auditioned for one of those "singing" reality shows. But don't worry... no NDA's are about to be broken. :)

We got a message from her husband confirming the adventure. Some time passed, and we got another message from him.

"She got beat by a 15-year old boy. Time for beer."

Ah, I was *this* close to being able to name-drop!

Hello Kitty Donut

Somebody brought donuts at work a while back. One of them...



Wow. I have to admit, I'm impressed. It was almost too cute to eat.



Almost.

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Raisins / And We're Done!

Raisins

A couple of friends offered to make dinner for us. "Can we bring anything?"

Oh! I LOVE bug cake!

"Sure, bring a dessert. Anything, as long as it doesn't have raisins."

We got a cake and sprinkled raisins across the top. "I said no raisins!"

"Oh don't worry," I replied. "Those aren't raisins. Those are bugs."

There was a *lot* of cake leftover for us. :)

And We're Done!

I went to Walmart the other day. A mother was just in front of me with an empty basket, an arm-length list, and a itty bitty toddler girl sitting in the basket.

Momma picked up one item and put it in the basket. "AAAAAAaannnd, we're DONE!", the little girl happily shrieked. She raised her arms up in celebration.

Now we're done?
Shut up, Teddy.

"No, Honey," her mom replied. She grabbed another item from her list and put it in the basket. "AAAAAAaannnd, we're DONE!"

I watched them for several minutes. Momma would put something in the basket, and the little girl would throw her hands up in wild celebration. "AAAAAAaannnd, we're DONE!"

Even when I went my own way, I could still hear them across the store.

It was a joyful little noise. Although, I suppose her momma might disagree...

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The Funky Chicken

Whoo-hoo! Check this out... I got my very own rubber chicken!



It's like I'm a real comedian now. *sniff*

Plus, he's a keyring. In other words he's got a real job lined up in case in the comedy thing doesn't work out. Hollywood can be a tough place.

Even though he's technically a rubber chicken, he is a bit stiff. If he had a little more heft to him, he'd probably make a pretty decent lawn dart.

That beak is sharper than it looks, too. I jabbed my finger with it and yelped... my wife gave me a look of mock sympathy and said, "Aw... did he bite you?"

"Kinda," I admitted.

Also, he has a distressingly large hinder.



Apparently he's a Kardashian. He might only be mine for 72 days, but I love him!

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Pitchfork'ed

I have a pitchfork at my desk. Don't act surprised. I'm only surprised I can't find a picture of it at my desk... I thought I had one. Oh well... use your imagination.

Anyway, I had the pitchfork out on display. It wanted to be used. It *needed* to be used. So I picked it up and ran at Big Dawg.

"Yeeaaaarrgghhh!" Poink!

Big Dawg looked down at his arm where I'd "poinked" him. Then he reached for a weapon of his own.



"Yeeaaaarrgghhh!" Slap!

Big Dawg slapped me with his vintage Bozo the Clown doll. I think Bozo enjoyed it. I'm sure I heard him cackle.

Big Dawg and I were both grinning like idiots. We turned to face the rest of the office.

No one had noticed.

I walked into the middle of the office, holding the toy pitchfork. Nothing.

Wow.

Apparently I can get away with more than I previously thought. This could be fun. :)

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Coffee Makes People Friendly

Monty went for coffee and met a guy for the first time that's he's apparently known for twenty years.

"Hey man, how's it going?"

Monty blinked. "Fine, thanks."

"We're about to get out of debt!"

Personal details from a stranger... nice. Monty stuttered a bit in reply. "... uh ... great? ..."

"We've almost paid off our car, and my wife's rash is just about cleared up."

Monty choked back his gag reflex. "... That's ... *cough* ... that's really great."

The stranger just kept chattering at Monty as if they'd known each other forever. Monty has never met this guy before.

"Things are really looking up for us!", the stranger said as he wandered off.

"Great," said Monty. "I'm rootin' for ya."

Later, he shared the story with us. "You should have struck out randomly," I suggested. "Pick a name and go for it. 'So, how's Brenda?' That sort of thing."

Monty wasn't so sure. "If he knows a 'Brenda', there's a good chance the conversation would end with a hug. I don't want that."

Who doesn't want a hug?

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Party Bus

I have nothing to say today, so instead I'll just show you a picture of a party bus.



Yeah, a literal party bus showed up across the street from us. I'm not sure what he was celebrating, but he sure did it in style.

Happy Friday!

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Tastes Like Ice

We had a potluck at work. Among other things, I was supposed to bring ice.

I stopped by a gas station. Some folks were loading ice bags into the freezer. "Can I just grab a couple of those off the cart?" "Sure!", the lady of the crew replied. "Reddy Ice tastes great!"

I blinked. "Uh, thanks. But we plan to dilute the cubes with soda pop if that's OK."

This didn't seem to faze the ice lady, so I moved on to the front counter. "Just those two bags?", he asked. I nodded. He grinned and then shouted at me, "Reddy ice tastes great!"

"You know, you've already made the sale. You don't need to shout slogans at me."

I've never had slogans shouted at me outside of a Subway restaurant.

The ice did seem to taste decent, though.

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