It's A Party

Temptation lurks... EVERYWHERE!...


I have no use for them and yet I want them badly. Lego Yoda! Toe-Mater! Mickey!

Although, to be honest, Sylvester is the one who *almost* tipped the scales in favor of a crazed spending spree.

"They're only 87 cents each," my wife graciously offered. "You're not making it any easier to walk away," I replied.

I didn't buy any, mostly because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have bought just one. I would have taken the entire display case home with me.


UPDATE 10:29 pm... finally got around to fixing the "incomplete" title on this one. Yay me? *sigh*

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Impervious

We have a relative newcomer in our office. A fellow programmer from another department that I'm going to nickname, "Impervious". You'll see why in a moment.

Beauty, like a former Marine...

One morning (a year or more ago) when I walked into the office I greeted OoRah by saying, "Good morning Beautiful." Even better than the sputtering surprise from the rest of the crew was OoRah's response. He simply grinned and said, "Thanks."

Ever since, I've pulled out the "Beautiful" gag once every couple of months. OoRah always plays along. It's wonderful.

Last week I walked into the break room. OoRah and Impervious were both in there. It was time to hit a newbie with one of my favorite jokes. I decided to crank it up a notch.

"Hey, Impervious," I said. Then, to OoRah: "Hello Gorgeous."

You told a joke. How wonderful.

OoRah grinned and played along like always. Impervious... well, he just simply nodded and then walked out of the room.

We watched him go. There was no reaction. None.

"Well," OoRah said. "It *was* nice to get a promotion."

"It didn't even phase him." I was baffled. "Wow."

OoRah consoled me. "You'll just have to think of something even more outrageous to call me next time."

I sniffled a little. "Thanks, Beautiful."

Help me out here... what should I call OoRah next time?

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Step Four!

Not much to say on this one, really. Progress continues at a very slow pace. The biggest thing I learned was that the flash on my camera is what was making the cockpit look blue.


That's much nicer. Less than halfway through, though.

Have a good weekend! I'll try not to glue myself to my chair...

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Athletic

There's always something fun going on with me on the "Pathetic Injury" front. I've hurt my foot, and I've hurt my back. I hurt my hip. And the best part is, these stupid injuries linger. I do the exercises, I follow the instructions. Sometimes things improve but I've yet to actually "fix" anything.

I turned to P-Ziddy, my trusted emotional confidant, for some much-need solace.

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Jeff: So, I went to an orthopedic doc this morning, had him look at my tricky hip. Diagnosis... Bursitis on the side, lower-back pinched nerve likely affecting the backside.

Jeff: He gave me a cortisone shot. Hurts like #### right now. Wowie.

P-Ziddy: You didn't really WANT to sit down today, did you?

Jeff: I find it amusing though, just how many of these various doctors I've been going to are Sports Medicine guys. My chiropractor has worked on at least one NFL player. This guy specializes in athletic injuries. Podiatrist sees a lot of track n' field runners.

Jeff: I feel like I'm lowering their averages by quite a bit.

P-Ziddy: Definitely.

Jeff: And I love how much effort you put into sparing my feelings there, too.

P-Ziddy: LOL

Jeff: The guy today suggested an MRI for my back, but we'll go with less invasive / expensive options for the moment.

P-Ziddy: My MRI was like 45 minutes long. Of course, it was on my head.

P-Ziddy: It was like someone slid a metal barrel over my head, but with less room.

P-Ziddy: And then beat on it for an hour with a hammer.

Jeff: They'd prolly want me to lay on my back in this tube thing, and the pain is in an area where I can't lay on my back.

P-Ziddy: Maybe they'll want you to lay on your stomach?

P-Ziddy: Or just hop up and down while they wave a laser pointer over you.

Jeff: Bad foot. Can't hop, either.

P-Ziddy: I'm sorry... Spin your wheel chair around on one wheel while they wave a laser pointer at you.

Jeff: Carpel Tunnel symptoms in one wrist. I prolly can't manage the wheelchair spin, either.

P-Ziddy: How are you still breathing at this point?

P-Ziddy: I swear Stephen Hawking could beat you in a foot race.

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Free Samples

Last week the "McDonald's Sampling Truck" came by our office for a visit. They handed out free samples of their new Cherry Berry Chiller, as well as some "giveaways and coupons".

Of course, the announcement could have simply said, "Some guys will be coming by with free stuff." It would have had the same effect.

The big day arrived. LadyPatsFan, M16, Monty and I all went down to behold the glory of ...


... a ghost taking close-up pictures of a truck, while dancing.

The samplers themselves were really small, but I have to admit they were good.


MMMmmmmm...! Pink Slime. Whoo-hoo!

I think they used liquid nitrogen to chill the samples. Two sips and I had a brain freeze so severe that I had to sit down for a minute.

They also handed out coupons and swag! A beach ball and some comically large sunglasses! I put mine on and asked, "Do these look stupid? If they look stupid, they're going on my blog." M16's face was carefully neutral. "I'm not gonna be the one to say they look stupid... I'll just say that they should go on your blog."


Maybe I'm crazy, but they don't look as ridiculous as I'd hoped. Oh well.

I showed off my pre-inflated beach ball to OoRah. He was unimpressed. "It looks like a colostomy bag." He got a chorus of "What?..." responses. "It's just the area he's holding it in."

"Well, thanks for thinking about my area."


Probably the funniest visual image of the whole ordeal was LadyPatsFan trying to inflate her beach ball. She seemed to be workin' pretty hard at it. After watching her huff and puff for a bit I commented, "Yeah... that looks dignified."

I think she might have tried to hit me if she hadn't been laughing so hard. Plus, the lack of oxygen may have been blurring her eyesight a bit. I'm not sure she knew where I was standing.

Yay, free stuff!

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Step Three!

An update on that Starfury model I've been working on...


Last week, I made it all the way to step 2. This week, I conquered step 3. Yeah, only one step. But in my defense...


... step 3 does cover two whole pages. There's even an arrow on the second page three that points to a piece it calls, "Completed assembly from step 3." But we're still on step 3. I think. Between the instructions and the glue fumes, I can't really be sure of much.

I did manage to glue on enough bits that the thing is starting to take shape, which is obviously pretty nice.


On a whim, I checked eBay. I found my model on sale for 50 bucks. A few days later, I checked again. I found my model again, this time for 63 dollars.

Holy buckets. If I hadn't opened mine up ... wow. I don't remember what I paid for it, but I'm sure it wasn't more than 20.

Anyway, I also painted the cockpit.


The instructions say, "Metallic Gray". I used "Metallic Gray". In real life it doesn't look quite as blue as it does in the picture, but I'm still not sure the final product will be dark enough look right. I'm a little concerned.

Also, I really need to figure out how to squeeze that "model cement" tube without having huge streams of glue pump out. I keep having to open up windows to let the hallucinations out.

Glacial progress continues! Next week... step 4! Maybe!

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Grilled Pizza

We tried something new last week. Well, new to us. Grilled Pizza!

The instructions are pretty easy, honestly. First, obtain some pizza dough. Second, put stuff on it. Third, grill it forever.

Here's a "before" pic.


Ham and black olives. That's how we roll. Generic stuff from the crisper! Yeah!

Now, a few warnings. If you get too much water in the dough, it will be extremely sticky. I even coated my hands in flour before I started and it still wound up looking like I was wearing dough gloves. I wish I'd thought to have my wife take a picture of it... it was hilariously disturbing.

Also, don't overdo it on the pizza sauce! It will make the dough soggy. I had so much sauce and cheese that my pizza was soggy and juicy.

And finally, cook the pizza over indirect heat... fire on one side of the grill, pizza on the other side. But make sure the "hot" side is pretty blazing hot, otherwise you'll be standing out there for 40 minutes wondering if the crust will ever turn brown (hint: it won't... but the bottom *will* eventually burn!).

Even with all the challenges, it still turned out pretty good. Here's the "after" pic.


It had a liquid center and a burned bottom, but it was tasty!

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