Eco-Wheel Of Fortune

So, last week the theme on Wheel Of Fortune was "Going Green". It was tame enough, but it did make me think a little. Depending on your point of view, this could be considered a borderline political issue. Game shows tend to avoid that kind of thing.

That got me thinking... what if Wheel Of Fortune went out of their minds and decided to embrace political controversy? "I'm Pat Sajak, and it's 'Liberal Agenda' week here on Wheel Of Fortune!"

A theme like that could be a lot of fun if they went out of their way to have conservative contestants. I imagine something like this:



Obviously, it would all end in violence. The episodes would have to be aired well after prime-time. Can't you just image, "Wheel Of Fortune: Dusk Dissension!" The ratings would be huge.

Sometimes I think I think too much.

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Saturday Shopping, GPS Brain, Blonde Password

Saturday Shopping

My wife and I went shopping on Saturday. Our goal was to pick up an outdoor table for our back porch and a nice lamp. We came home with flip-flops and a new computer.

Oops?

GPS on the brain

"Engineers develop enhanced vision; GPS tracking tech for your brain"

It's eye-tracking technology that is linked into GPS satellites and your cell phone. It can see what you're seeing and tell you information about it.

From the article...

"If the user closes their eyes for two seconds, a request is made for information about the object(s) in front of them."

"In an example of a real-life application, a person who bumps into an old friend on the street could recall their name and the date of their most recent encounter."

Yeah, that wouldn't be awkward at all. "Hi there, uh..." Then close your eyes for two seconds. Then wait for the auditory playback to tell you who this person is. Then, pop your eyes open and say, "Joe! Yeah, Joe! Haven't seen you since that... uh... thing..." Close your eyes for two more seconds. Then wait for the auditory playback. Then, pop your eyes back open to discover that Joe now thinks you're a Stepford Wife.

I'm all in favor of computers eliminating our human need to think, but we're not quite there yet. :)

Blonde Password

From the email archive:

During a recent password audit, our I.T. discovered a blonde was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento

When they asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

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Like A Caged Animal

Remember when I caged OoRah's giraffe?



This was back in early January. OoRah waited 4 months to retaliate... last week he used that plastic cup to cage a Batman toy on my desk.

I thought about waiting 4 months before striking again, but then an opportunity presented itself and I jumped on it.



I caged OoRah's mouse.

I think he'll notice this one faster than he noticed the giraffe. Although, with the pathetic lighting over his desk, you never know.

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Friday Grab Bag

I have a bunch of quick thoughts / stories for today.

Insane Giggles

Big Dawg was having a "Logic Is Hard" kind of day. Nothing was working, despite his best efforts. He asked his computer to do simple math and it rebooted. Despair was winning the fight.

Several of us were gathered around, trying to help. We all took a step back when the insane cackling giggles started, though.

OoRah spoke first. "I get the impression he's not 'ha-ha funny' laughing."

I said, "No, we're witnessing a breakdown. And not one of mine, either."

Everybody laughed.

I'm not sure how I should feel about that.

Rock On

This is from a conversation my wife and I had. I no longer remember the context, which just makes it even funnier to me.

"'Funky Elderly' would make a decent rock n' roll band name."

I wanna see a heavy metal version of the Jitterbug. Bonus points if the performers have blue hair.

Someday

My brother-in-law went to high school in the early 90's. Apparently his science textbook contained the phrase, "Somebody we'll put a man on the moon."

The moon landing was in 1969. Wow.

Act Casual

I'm a sucker for gas jokes, and this one is perfect on *so* many levels...

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Department Lunch

My fellow web programmers and I went to lunch last week. Olive Garden, of course. It's always interesting to see how much trouble our waiter has with our order. "Look, we all just want the soup / salad / bread thing, OK?" "Uh... OK... so that's... seven soup... eighteen salad... and you only wanted bread, right?"

I'm *still* waiting for my soup refill. Poor guy got confused and tried to bring me some bok choy instead. Sad, really.

Anyway, despite our efforts at conformity, LadyPatsFan felt the need to stand out. She ordered a diet soda while the rest of chose water.

"I can't drink water," LadyPatsFan confessed. "It gives me indigestion."

There was a moment of silence as we all considered this. Then, I spoke up. "I think you're doing it wrong."

I honestly didn't think it would get a big laugh, but Big Dawg nearly fell out of his chair.

Later, a salad bowl was passed around. OoRah, our former Marine, loaded up the salad tongs. When he released, the lettuce happily jumped off to the side and landed next to his plate. Not so much as a single croûton landed where it was supposed to.

"I can see you prefer grenades to rifles," I quipped.

We nearly lost Merrick. He was laughing, chewing and choking. He actually turned a little blue before he got it all under control again.

Out of respect for sentient life, I remained silent for the rest of the meal.

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Bear-Poop Coffee

So, we changed vending companies at work. The new vending folk provide something called "White Bear" coffee for the break room. I took a look at one of the bags.



I honestly don't know what is being depicted in that colorful scene, but I think the bear in the yellow-red circle is about to defile it.

Look out, below!

Giggling, I flipped the package over.



"Experience our liquid wisdom!" And it's in a bold font, because we all know wisdom is wiser at high volume.

I like the line over on the left side, "White Bear Coffee Co. knows coffee is personal, ..." Indeed it is. That's why we don't talk about coffee in polite company. People are prone to gossip.

I decided to try the coffee despite its unusual source. Turns out, Bear-Poop Coffee is quite good.

And I feel smrter already.

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Lamp Broke

My wife's favorite lamp is shining somewhere brightly in Heaven now.



(song inspired by our amazing friend "T")

This little light of mine, ain't gonna never shine.
Oh! This little light of mine, ain't gonna never shine!
It won't shine, it won't shine, it won't shine.

Hide it under a bushel? Yes! Ain't gonna never shine.
Oh! Hide it under a bushel? Yes! Ain't gonna never shine.
It won't shine, it won't shine, it won't shine.

Unplug or the sparks will fly, ain't gonna never shine.
Oh! Unplug or the sparks will fly, ain't gonna never shine.
It won't shine, it won't shine, it won't shine.

All dark in my neighborhood, ain't gonna never shine.
Oh! All dark in my neighborhood, ain't gonna never shine.
It won't shine, it won't shine, it won't shine.

Gather dust 'till the new one comes, ain't gonna never shine.
Oh! Gather dust 'till the new one comes, ain't gonna never shine.
It won't shine, it won't shine, it won't shine.

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